Well, I'm a little bit perturbed that he apologized to everyone but me. I mean, I wasn't really that into him, but still. I WAS one of his secret lovers.

At the Masters today, everything seemed to be going quite well for him... until this happened:

I'll let you in on a little secret:

It was me.

"Star Trek" won the Academy Award for Best Make-Up this weekend, but I really think "Avatar" should have won. I mean, in the initial phases of production on the film, the make-up artists went through a pain-staking process of making sure the aliens were believable looking. In fact, they originally cast Maceo and I in the lead roles but threw all our scenes to the editing room floor because they thought we looked too much like cats. The last thing they wanted is for the aliens to look like felines.

There's a lot of talk about the Health Care Bill for humans, but you may not have heard about the Health Care Bill for animals. I was one of the doctors featured during Obama's speech.

Did you hear about the news people freakin' about the possibility of a Tsunami on California's coast? Well, I was in San Diego, and there was no Tsunami, but there were a few big waves.

Maceo and I went to the movies last night and saw "Shutter Island." Loved the movie. Spooky, entertaining, and overall a fun movie-going experience. Interestingly, Scorsese, showed the actors (Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo and Ben Kingsley) the old horror film, "Cat People" for some "film appreciation" on set when they weren't shooting.

"When your Olympic sport involves balding, pudgy middle-aged men in diamond-print stretch pants — and a woman who is five months pregnant — pushing brooms on ice and sliding 44-pound granite stones to the shouts of "Hurry! Hurry! Hard! Hard!" you learn to be self-deprecating." -Michelle Kaufman

In light of Tiger Wood's recent press conference, I think it is an appropriate time for me to own up to my relationship with the famous golfer. He really, really liked me, but I just wasn't that into him.